What Drew Me to This Book?
For the last couple of years, I have been tinkering with the notion of becoming a psychologist. During that time, I had to face questions that rose: Is it the correct path for me to take? What is the value that therapy brings to its patients? What would my life look like?
At first sight, it seemed that “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” could get me closer to answering those questions.
What Is the Book About?
The book gives us a taste of Lori’s life as a psychologist and a distinct individual. We get a behind-the-scenes look at therapy from the eyes of the one conducting it.
We learn about how therapists are trained, how they learn, how their lifestyle changes due to their profession, and how they go about helping their patients in the best possible way. Also, we get a behind-the-curtains look into the fact that therapists are also people with their own problems; at times, they require therapy themselves.
But perhaps the biggest element of the book is the assortment of patients and their diverse set of problems, which lead them to therapy. We get to explore Lori’s patients’ inner demons – a young newlywed diagnosed with terminal cancer; an older, depressed woman who intends to commit suicide on her next birthday; a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a woman stuck in a cycle of alcoholism and toxic relationships – and even Lori herself, a middle-aged psychotherapist who goes through a debilitating breakup.
The Book’s Unique Structure
Like the real life of a therapist, the book is divided into chronological sessions, each represented by a chapter.
In the beginning, we are introduced to the author and four patients who started seeing her recently. Throughout the book, we go through the highs and lows, disappointments and revelations, with all five of them. We get insight into various types of behaviors, and we learn about their meanings and their healing process. And just like in real life, at the end of the book, we go through the termination process of the therapy.
Due to this kind of construction, we receive the feeling of progress and growth. Also, since one will inevitably connect to a specific character more than the others – perhaps based on common trauma – the breaks between each session (i.e. chapter) will give one time to reflect and digest what he read.
One’s Therapeutic Journey
As mentioned above, after reading the introductory chapters, you will find a character that most resembles you, or at least brings up some emotions.
This character, in a way, acts as the avatar of yourself within the book. As you will find each related chapter to be a worthwhile challenge, that will bring up suppressed fears you might not have known you had. The characters’ therapeutic journey is your own. Each chapter sheds a little more compassionate light into the dark corners that make our subconscious.
Going through this book, and experiencing an intimate view into what is common to us all, you might find yourself feeling more open, courageous, and capable; less shameful and alone. The humane bravery and the connection to the character will bring you some psychological healing, settings you in the right direction for becoming a better, more self-aware, version of yourself.
Perhaps the biggest lesson from this book is the realization that surface-level problems are indications of something deeper. The problem the patient comes with is seldom the problem itself, but the symptom. (SPOILERS) e.g. John, the producer, who complains about being surrounded by idiots, eventually discovers that he is still grieving over the death of his young son years ago.
My Personal Jaunt
For me, the character that I have most connected with is July, the dying thirty-something years old. Having deep-nested trauma and fear about my health, her sessions were a mountain to read through. I often found myself stressed, even crying, at her situation and its descriptions, imagining me in her place.
I was intentionally putting myself in a stressful place, going through an emotional rollercoaster that ranged anywhere from denial to regression. During those chapters, I discovered many tools and ideas about sickness and death. I learned about the power of focusing on what is within my control. With time, reading July’s story through a psychologist’s lens gave me a sense of gratitude and hope for the future, as with a greater sense of empathy towards others around me.
The book helped me face my fears; it asked me heart-clenching questions and had me rethink my current beliefs about life and ultimately, make changes – or rather, improvement to it.
Why Should You Read This Book?
Hopefully, reading the review has enticed you to pick this book up for yourself. But in case it did not, allow me to summarize why you should do so.
All of us deal with pain and fear in our lives. Even if we are not aware of them, they are the underlying forces that guide our behaviors and decision, and consequently, our lives. By learning to notice them, to stand up to them, and to heal from past trauma, we can build a life we truly want to live; we become our authentic selves.
This book is a significant starting point for anyone who wants to get his feet in the water of psychology. It will take you hand-in-hand, guiding you through the beginning stages of self-discovery, and showing you your inner world little by little. At the very least, this is a simple, fun-to-read book that anyone can find joy in reading.
“We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.”
“We tend to think that the future happens later, but we’re creating it in our minds every day. When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. And having the future taken away is the mother of all plot twists.”
“But part of getting to know yourself is to un-know yourself—to let go of the limiting stories you’ve told yourself about who you are so that you aren’t trapped by them, so you can live your life and not the story you’ve been telling yourself about your life.”
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
“Most big transformations come about from the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible, steps we take along the way.”